You’ve got your exit plan in place; you are ready to take your first steps away from your abusive marriage. Below are things you want to make sure you do during this time:

Make sure you have a good support system in place:

There is no reason to set out on this journey alone. Turn to friends, family and local domestic abuse resources for help when leaving.

Make sure you have a restraining order in place:

Obtaining a restraining order is the most important thing you can do for yourself and your children. Those first steps forward out of the marriage will be easier to take if feel empowered by a restraining order.

Follow the terms of the restraining order:

A restraining order will set out legal limitations as far as your abusers ability to contact or come around you. Just because the order is against the abuser does not mean you should not follow the order also. If you begin to feel more secure being around the abuser DO NOT communicate with or be around your abuser unless you go to the courts to have the restraining order lifted.

You asking the court for protection and then failing to take advantage of that protection lessens your credibility with the court. Not something you want to lose!

Stay strong and don’t buy into the abuser’s line or excuses:

You have enough experience with the abuser to know how convincing he/she can be when trying to get back into your good graces. You also have enough experience to know that, it’s all just talk.

Your best rule is to hear no abuser, see no abuser, and speak to no abuser. Don’t put yourself in a position of becoming weak to those sweet words and heartfelt excuses and apologies.

Keep your eyes on the future:

Don’t look back, look straight ahead and move forward with your life. Take time, do an internal inventory to gain insight into how you became involved with the abuser. This insight will empower you in making better choices with your next relationship. If need be, seek the help of a professional therapist, one trained in helping you put one foot in front of the other and rebuilding your life.