Is Open Adoption Right For Your Family?
Expanding your family is one of the biggest and of course the happiest decision you will ever make. Many families choose to go through adoption in order to bring children into the home, but once this decision is made, its still only the beginning. Parents must then decide whether they want a domestic or foreign adoption, a public or private adoption, and whether they fell an open adoption or closed adoption would be best suited for their family. This last decision is especially crucial, as it will have a direct impact on the childs upbringing and their perception of themselves and their family identity. Because of the serious implications of this decision, many couples stick with a closed adoption because they feel it will be easiest for everyone to deal with. However, if handled carefully and sensitively, your adopted child can really benefit and find closure and completeness through an open adoption.
For those who dont know, an open adoption is an adoption where either one or both of the birth parents is still able to see the child and have a relationship with him or her. No two open adoptions are alike, and the frequency of visits, as well as the degree of closeness in the relationship can vary. Some birth parents visit in-person once or twice a year, some only talk on the phone to their birth children, or send letter and gifts. Some birth parents remain quite close to their children, whereas others might be thought of as more of a family friend. In some cases, the child might refer to the birth parents as Mom and Dad, but in many other cases, the birth parents are addressed by their first names only. These are details that are typically determined by the adoptive parents, so you will have many options for your childs relationship with their birth parents. If you do choose an open adoption, the key is to plan ahead and decide how and when you will tell your child they are adopted. This will have an impact on birth parent involvement. You will also want to talk to the birth parent ahead of time and clearly establish what the guidelines for contact are. Do you want them to feel comfortable phoning any time? Do you want to restrict them to one or two visits a year as organized by you? Make all of this clear to them. You must also determine what their comfort level is with the situation. Maybe you are comfortable with your child calling his or her birth parents Mom and Dad, but the birth parents themselves might feel uncomfortable with this arrangement.
When it comes to open adoption, communication is the key to success. Communication between you and your spouse, the birth parent or parents and most importantly, communication with your child on the matter as they grow up is necessary. With this communication and a clear plan in place, an open adoption can be a successful and happy family situation for all involved.
For those who dont know, an open adoption is an adoption where either one or both of the birth parents is still able to see the child and have a relationship with him or her. No two open adoptions are alike, and the frequency of visits, as well as the degree of closeness in the relationship can vary. Some birth parents visit in-person once or twice a year, some only talk on the phone to their birth children, or send letter and gifts. Some birth parents remain quite close to their children, whereas others might be thought of as more of a family friend. In some cases, the child might refer to the birth parents as Mom and Dad, but in many other cases, the birth parents are addressed by their first names only. These are details that are typically determined by the adoptive parents, so you will have many options for your childs relationship with their birth parents. If you do choose an open adoption, the key is to plan ahead and decide how and when you will tell your child they are adopted. This will have an impact on birth parent involvement. You will also want to talk to the birth parent ahead of time and clearly establish what the guidelines for contact are. Do you want them to feel comfortable phoning any time? Do you want to restrict them to one or two visits a year as organized by you? Make all of this clear to them. You must also determine what their comfort level is with the situation. Maybe you are comfortable with your child calling his or her birth parents Mom and Dad, but the birth parents themselves might feel uncomfortable with this arrangement.
When it comes to open adoption, communication is the key to success. Communication between you and your spouse, the birth parent or parents and most importantly, communication with your child on the matter as they grow up is necessary. With this communication and a clear plan in place, an open adoption can be a successful and happy family situation for all involved.
