Punishing Children
Many parents struggle to get their children to listen after they have made a mistake, misbehaved or broken family rules.
One of the most common reasons why they struggle is because they try to fix every problem as soon as it happens when they are still steaming with anger inside.
Of course, it is understandable to want to take corrective action immediately when your child's mishap is fresh.
However, the other side of the coin is that when a parent is angry and upset, the parent is unlikely to be making the best and most rational decisions.
Parents therefore must learn to control their own, and avoid punishing your kids when you are upset.
Another thing to watch out is making snap decisions without even thinking about.
It's an easy habit to get into.
Attempting to correct a bad situation is something that most people do everyday without thinking about it, at all.
As soon as somebody or something upsets us, we tend to spark right off about the situation without taking time to let the anger settle.
More often that not, these types of snap decisions aren't wise judgments, and make the situation even worse.
For this reason, it's essential that you give yourself time to calm down before making the attempt to help your child correct his or her behavior.
- If your child grabbed a drink and spilled it on the carpet, then that exact moment is not the right time to start lecturing him for being clumsy.
- If you are going to have a talk with your child about what he did by mistake that upset you, then wait until you are calm and without any present-moment anxiety.
- If your teenager has arrives late for his curfew then you would be ill-advised to launch yourself right into a tantrum of yelling and punishment at the exact moment he steps through the door.
You don't have to act immediately.
It's okay to wait until bedtime or the next morning.
You can simply record your feelings with a look, or offer support for your child's current mistake, and then, at a later time talk about whatever it is that your child did that needs attention to.
By taking time in this way, neither you nor your child will be put in a defensive posture.
You'll be able to talk about bad behavior and mistakes without immediately getting into a fight.
One of the most common reasons why they struggle is because they try to fix every problem as soon as it happens when they are still steaming with anger inside.
Of course, it is understandable to want to take corrective action immediately when your child's mishap is fresh.
However, the other side of the coin is that when a parent is angry and upset, the parent is unlikely to be making the best and most rational decisions.
Parents therefore must learn to control their own, and avoid punishing your kids when you are upset.
Another thing to watch out is making snap decisions without even thinking about.
It's an easy habit to get into.
Attempting to correct a bad situation is something that most people do everyday without thinking about it, at all.
As soon as somebody or something upsets us, we tend to spark right off about the situation without taking time to let the anger settle.
More often that not, these types of snap decisions aren't wise judgments, and make the situation even worse.
For this reason, it's essential that you give yourself time to calm down before making the attempt to help your child correct his or her behavior.
- If your child grabbed a drink and spilled it on the carpet, then that exact moment is not the right time to start lecturing him for being clumsy.
- If you are going to have a talk with your child about what he did by mistake that upset you, then wait until you are calm and without any present-moment anxiety.
- If your teenager has arrives late for his curfew then you would be ill-advised to launch yourself right into a tantrum of yelling and punishment at the exact moment he steps through the door.
You don't have to act immediately.
It's okay to wait until bedtime or the next morning.
You can simply record your feelings with a look, or offer support for your child's current mistake, and then, at a later time talk about whatever it is that your child did that needs attention to.
By taking time in this way, neither you nor your child will be put in a defensive posture.
You'll be able to talk about bad behavior and mistakes without immediately getting into a fight.
