Only We, Ourselves, Can Make Life Better for Us
Have you ever believed that someone else could make your life better for you - that somehow, in some way, attaching your life to someone else was the secret to a full and happy life? Have you imagined your "dream come true" or your "life happily ever after" because being with someone else was going to make it better? I certainly did...
three times.
And three times, I had to restart and find healing and my way forward on my own.
I think I have finally realized the lesson.
First of all, I attached my dreams for my happy future to a man whom I met while I attended the University of Sydney in Australia.
He was my first love, and when my year of studies was done and I had to return to Canada, I focused all my energies on working and earning enough money to return to Australia so that we could be together.
I left my family and friends behind in order to be with the man I loved.
A year later, he ended our relationship, saying only that he needed time and space to be on his own and to find himself.
As he pulled the plug on our life together, I felt my dreams being sucked through my fingers and down the drain.
I was powerless to hold onto them.
A couple of months later, he told me that he realized that he wanted to pursue a homosexual lifestyle.
And so, the small town prairie girl from Saskatchewan had to pick up the shattered pieces of the life she had imagined with the man she loved and figure out her next step.
I returned home to Canada, and within a few months, I met the man who was to become my husband and the father of my children.
Once again, I was the one who changed my life and moved to be with him when we got married, believing that he was the hero of my happily ever after story.
Thirteen years later, it was me who had to leave an increasingly abusive and dysfunctional relationship to begin life again - this time, as a single parent with two young children.
My dreams of a wonderful family life were dashed to bits as my marriage imploded.
This time, it wasn't the desire to pursue another lifestyle.
It was another woman.
I was left to pick up the pieces and find my way forward on my own.
Fast forward through twelve years of single parenthood and learning to stand on my own as an independent woman to yet another move to be with another man.
This was the one.
This was going to be my dream come true.
I was going to partner with him on his farm; I was going to have the opportunity to return to my farm-girl roots, and we were going to build a life together out in the country where I love to be.
My children were grown and had left home.
This was my time to find happiness and fulfillment with my partner.
I changed my whole life for him - I left my teaching position; I sold my home; and I moved from the community where I had spent twelve years establishing roots.
Two years later, I had to extract myself from the dysfunctional cycle of addiction and restart my life on my own.
It is now four years since I left the man I had shared so many dreams with, and at long last, I realize what Life was trying to show me all along - I am the only one who can make my life full and happy.
You see, I thought I needed someone else to make my life full and happy, but I have learned that I am responsible for my own happiness, my own sense of fulfillment, and my own healing.
No one can make life better for me...
except for me.
In order to be whole and emotionally and spiritually healthy, what I experience from life is up to me.
No one else can make me happy or make me feel worthy or whole.
No one else can fill any sense of lack within me.
This is an inside job that is up to me.
I am learning to make life better for me by healing the wounds that kept drawing me into relationships where I would be treated badly, by learning to love myself and to realize my worth, by heeding my inner guidance, and by paying attention to what brings ME joy and fulfillment.
I am learning to live my own life and not to experience life through another.
As I do, I am realizing all that Life offers me.
I am realizing that I am the master of my journey, and I am opening to the freedom, potential, and opportunities that are available for me.
I pray that you learn to honour what brings you joy and fulfillment and that you know that you are worthy and enough just as you are.
You do not need to be connected to another to realize your "happy life.
" You just need to connect with you.
Namaste, my spiritual brothers and sisters.
three times.
And three times, I had to restart and find healing and my way forward on my own.
I think I have finally realized the lesson.
First of all, I attached my dreams for my happy future to a man whom I met while I attended the University of Sydney in Australia.
He was my first love, and when my year of studies was done and I had to return to Canada, I focused all my energies on working and earning enough money to return to Australia so that we could be together.
I left my family and friends behind in order to be with the man I loved.
A year later, he ended our relationship, saying only that he needed time and space to be on his own and to find himself.
As he pulled the plug on our life together, I felt my dreams being sucked through my fingers and down the drain.
I was powerless to hold onto them.
A couple of months later, he told me that he realized that he wanted to pursue a homosexual lifestyle.
And so, the small town prairie girl from Saskatchewan had to pick up the shattered pieces of the life she had imagined with the man she loved and figure out her next step.
I returned home to Canada, and within a few months, I met the man who was to become my husband and the father of my children.
Once again, I was the one who changed my life and moved to be with him when we got married, believing that he was the hero of my happily ever after story.
Thirteen years later, it was me who had to leave an increasingly abusive and dysfunctional relationship to begin life again - this time, as a single parent with two young children.
My dreams of a wonderful family life were dashed to bits as my marriage imploded.
This time, it wasn't the desire to pursue another lifestyle.
It was another woman.
I was left to pick up the pieces and find my way forward on my own.
Fast forward through twelve years of single parenthood and learning to stand on my own as an independent woman to yet another move to be with another man.
This was the one.
This was going to be my dream come true.
I was going to partner with him on his farm; I was going to have the opportunity to return to my farm-girl roots, and we were going to build a life together out in the country where I love to be.
My children were grown and had left home.
This was my time to find happiness and fulfillment with my partner.
I changed my whole life for him - I left my teaching position; I sold my home; and I moved from the community where I had spent twelve years establishing roots.
Two years later, I had to extract myself from the dysfunctional cycle of addiction and restart my life on my own.
It is now four years since I left the man I had shared so many dreams with, and at long last, I realize what Life was trying to show me all along - I am the only one who can make my life full and happy.
You see, I thought I needed someone else to make my life full and happy, but I have learned that I am responsible for my own happiness, my own sense of fulfillment, and my own healing.
No one can make life better for me...
except for me.
In order to be whole and emotionally and spiritually healthy, what I experience from life is up to me.
No one else can make me happy or make me feel worthy or whole.
No one else can fill any sense of lack within me.
This is an inside job that is up to me.
I am learning to make life better for me by healing the wounds that kept drawing me into relationships where I would be treated badly, by learning to love myself and to realize my worth, by heeding my inner guidance, and by paying attention to what brings ME joy and fulfillment.
I am learning to live my own life and not to experience life through another.
As I do, I am realizing all that Life offers me.
I am realizing that I am the master of my journey, and I am opening to the freedom, potential, and opportunities that are available for me.
I pray that you learn to honour what brings you joy and fulfillment and that you know that you are worthy and enough just as you are.
You do not need to be connected to another to realize your "happy life.
" You just need to connect with you.
Namaste, my spiritual brothers and sisters.
