WHY DOES A WOMAN PRETENDING TO ORGASM
According to recent studies simulates more than one in two women, and does so for fear of losing their partners. But experts say the reasons are varied and far more complex than Sarah Ficocella
Maybe they do not succeed in the midst of a restaurant, like Meg Ryan in "When Harry Met Sally", but that does not mean they do this often, and in a credible, together with her companion. If it is true, says a study from Columbia University, that 53.9 percent of women (and therefore more than one in two) habitually pretends to orgasm, it is also necessary to ask why. For shame? Or to avoid problems and questions? In a research published in Archive of Sexual Behavior in partnership with Oakland University, scientists at the University of New York have tried to answer, and concluded that simulate those that are the most fearful of losing his partner, suspecting that he betrays.
To understand this, the authors Kaighobadi Farnaz, Todd Shackelford and Viviane Weekes-Shackelford analyzed interviews with 453 heterosexual women between 18 and 46 years, all engaged in a relationship for at least six months. More than half admitted to fake an orgasm, especially in simulating the case of doubts about the faithfulness of him. For men, the researchers said, are more likely to stay with a woman if convinced of sexual satisfaction. The "theater" of fiction to science, therefore, represents an evolutionary advantage because it allows the woman to arouse more interest in companion, took first prize over its rivals less clever or passionate.
News that discredits once and for all the "byproduct theory" (or "theory of the by-product") of the philosopher of science Elisabeth Lloyd, that the female orgasm is unnecessary ("a mere byproduct of the male," says in his studies), but that will not please as to their male counterparts, according to another research from the University of Michigan, for men to find that the companion pretends is a real trauma.
But even they are above all suspicion, and the University of Kansas, according to research published in the Journal of Sex Research, 25% of men pretending, mostly to avoid hurting the feelings of his partner. Although, as explained by Professor Frank Sommer Institute for Men's Health at the University Hospital Hamburg-Eppendorf, simulating orgasm in humans can be to stage only acoustically, because ejaculation cannot be fake ( except in cases of "dry ejaculation", which occurs in those who take psychotropic drugs, has undergone prostate surgery or damage to the nerves of the bladder neck).
Found that the fiction of pleasure is something that belongs to both sexes, however, is really that simple schematic? The scientific literature shows that women are not just pretending for fear of losing his companion. In 2007 a survey done in England by One Poll of 4,000 women revealed that 30 percent acknowledge that you have fake orgasms with all their sexual partners and do not try this with respect to any sense of guilt because, according to 90 percent of respondents, men generally do not know understand the difference between fake and real pleasure. Rather than starting threads or create complex or guilt to his companion, then, women prefer to pretend.
"The actual percentage of those who pretend when they make love - explains Flavia Coffari, psychotherapist and sexologist and president of the Italian Centre for health promotion (CIPSal) Rome - is, for obvious privacy reasons, very difficult to establish through research. What is certain is that, in certain situations or periods of life, at least once in your life all thought or pretended to do so. "
The reasons, the expert states, are innumerable, but we can divide them into 3 groups Macro: ignorance, opportunism or for professional reasons. The first group of women pretend to lack of knowledge on the functioning of their bodies: "They believe they can orgasmic" he explains, "because I've never managed to achieve it, or because they never masturbate, or because they are still trapped in the quarrel between orgasm type A (vaginal) orgasms and type B (clitoral). " The second group pretending to be afraid to let the partner as "defective," "not working" or to "speed up" the timing of intercourse or functional relationship problems that never seems to end. "The third group" continues Coffari "does that for" trade ", and I refer to the world of porn and prostitutes."
The first group of women living with all this frustration, guilt and feelings of inadequacy, the second with anxiety and / or resentment, but the third are the most serene and live as normal a routine in the. "Finding out that his woman, sometimes a life's companion, has pretended for years to orgasm during sex is devastating for a man," said the sexologist. "It's a narcissistic wound male pride, the very essence of his masculinity. A real catastrophe for the self-esteem."
"In most cases," said Paul G. Zucconi, a specialist in behavioral psychotherapy and cognitive therapy, "the woman denies ever, and often is the man who, after discussion, advised her to go to a sex therapist. Unfortunately, the woman is not always available to do so, and if it does, has to satisfy his partner. Much of it thinks that the problem is with the husband. "
According to Zucconi, to pretend they are usually women who are unable to admit to not experience orgasm, and that fear of being judged inadequate openly admitting their anorgasmia. "The choice of the simulation, apparently less demanding" the expert explains, "shows a woman who actually lives a double difficulty: first because he lacks the experience pleasurable orgasm and then because he fears the opinion of others (" anxiety disorder Social "). Yet, according to the present neurophysiologic model, 90 percent of women can reach the pinnacle of pleasure with the prolonged stimulation of the clitoris, and even those that may be considered an orgasmic are curable and treatable."
Maybe they do not succeed in the midst of a restaurant, like Meg Ryan in "When Harry Met Sally", but that does not mean they do this often, and in a credible, together with her companion. If it is true, says a study from Columbia University, that 53.9 percent of women (and therefore more than one in two) habitually pretends to orgasm, it is also necessary to ask why. For shame? Or to avoid problems and questions? In a research published in Archive of Sexual Behavior in partnership with Oakland University, scientists at the University of New York have tried to answer, and concluded that simulate those that are the most fearful of losing his partner, suspecting that he betrays.
To understand this, the authors Kaighobadi Farnaz, Todd Shackelford and Viviane Weekes-Shackelford analyzed interviews with 453 heterosexual women between 18 and 46 years, all engaged in a relationship for at least six months. More than half admitted to fake an orgasm, especially in simulating the case of doubts about the faithfulness of him. For men, the researchers said, are more likely to stay with a woman if convinced of sexual satisfaction. The "theater" of fiction to science, therefore, represents an evolutionary advantage because it allows the woman to arouse more interest in companion, took first prize over its rivals less clever or passionate.
News that discredits once and for all the "byproduct theory" (or "theory of the by-product") of the philosopher of science Elisabeth Lloyd, that the female orgasm is unnecessary ("a mere byproduct of the male," says in his studies), but that will not please as to their male counterparts, according to another research from the University of Michigan, for men to find that the companion pretends is a real trauma.
But even they are above all suspicion, and the University of Kansas, according to research published in the Journal of Sex Research, 25% of men pretending, mostly to avoid hurting the feelings of his partner. Although, as explained by Professor Frank Sommer Institute for Men's Health at the University Hospital Hamburg-Eppendorf, simulating orgasm in humans can be to stage only acoustically, because ejaculation cannot be fake ( except in cases of "dry ejaculation", which occurs in those who take psychotropic drugs, has undergone prostate surgery or damage to the nerves of the bladder neck).
Found that the fiction of pleasure is something that belongs to both sexes, however, is really that simple schematic? The scientific literature shows that women are not just pretending for fear of losing his companion. In 2007 a survey done in England by One Poll of 4,000 women revealed that 30 percent acknowledge that you have fake orgasms with all their sexual partners and do not try this with respect to any sense of guilt because, according to 90 percent of respondents, men generally do not know understand the difference between fake and real pleasure. Rather than starting threads or create complex or guilt to his companion, then, women prefer to pretend.
"The actual percentage of those who pretend when they make love - explains Flavia Coffari, psychotherapist and sexologist and president of the Italian Centre for health promotion (CIPSal) Rome - is, for obvious privacy reasons, very difficult to establish through research. What is certain is that, in certain situations or periods of life, at least once in your life all thought or pretended to do so. "
The reasons, the expert states, are innumerable, but we can divide them into 3 groups Macro: ignorance, opportunism or for professional reasons. The first group of women pretend to lack of knowledge on the functioning of their bodies: "They believe they can orgasmic" he explains, "because I've never managed to achieve it, or because they never masturbate, or because they are still trapped in the quarrel between orgasm type A (vaginal) orgasms and type B (clitoral). " The second group pretending to be afraid to let the partner as "defective," "not working" or to "speed up" the timing of intercourse or functional relationship problems that never seems to end. "The third group" continues Coffari "does that for" trade ", and I refer to the world of porn and prostitutes."
The first group of women living with all this frustration, guilt and feelings of inadequacy, the second with anxiety and / or resentment, but the third are the most serene and live as normal a routine in the. "Finding out that his woman, sometimes a life's companion, has pretended for years to orgasm during sex is devastating for a man," said the sexologist. "It's a narcissistic wound male pride, the very essence of his masculinity. A real catastrophe for the self-esteem."
"In most cases," said Paul G. Zucconi, a specialist in behavioral psychotherapy and cognitive therapy, "the woman denies ever, and often is the man who, after discussion, advised her to go to a sex therapist. Unfortunately, the woman is not always available to do so, and if it does, has to satisfy his partner. Much of it thinks that the problem is with the husband. "
According to Zucconi, to pretend they are usually women who are unable to admit to not experience orgasm, and that fear of being judged inadequate openly admitting their anorgasmia. "The choice of the simulation, apparently less demanding" the expert explains, "shows a woman who actually lives a double difficulty: first because he lacks the experience pleasurable orgasm and then because he fears the opinion of others (" anxiety disorder Social "). Yet, according to the present neurophysiologic model, 90 percent of women can reach the pinnacle of pleasure with the prolonged stimulation of the clitoris, and even those that may be considered an orgasmic are curable and treatable."
