How to Choose a Good Therapist Or Counselor
Finding a good therapist/counselor is not difficult.
You can be referred by a trusted source or simply use the Internet: select a few, read their profile, their specialty, their credentials, and contact them by email.
Choose the one who replies in a way that you can relate to.
If you can see two or three before you make your decision all the better, but if not, do NOT worry.
You'll know if he or she is right for you in 3 or 4 sessions.
Before you begin therapy, you must remember that a therapist is not an infallible person, and that you may well decide, at some point, that he or she is not for you.
Do NOT feel obliged to continue therapy if you don't feel it's helping you at all.
Do not fall into that trap.
Just tell him/her that you feel you are not making any progress and find another one.
If your sessions take place once a week, you must see some results in around 3 months in whichever goal you have set yourself.
In fact, before you begin, work with your therapist on a plan so that you can both track progress.
They are usually quite happy to do this.
Do not just 'show up', cry your heart out, leave after paying him/her only to feel you were cheated out of money, or that he/she seemed to be more worried about going one minute over time than about working well WITH you.
Your therapy sessions must conclude, each time, in a way which makes you feel 'better' than before.
A good therapist does not have a magic wand but if all you feel is awful at the end of each session, well, you need to say good-bye, no matter how hard it may be.
You may have began to feel some form of attachment to him or her, but you must remember that a therapist is like a doctor to you; he/she is not your friend nor a parental figure and definitely not your potential boyfriend/girlfriend, no matter what your feelings for him or her may be.
If you don't feel gradually but consistently stronger, better, happier in YOUR OWN everyday life, say good-bye and find another one.
If your therapist or counselor seems to 'pressurize' you into booking sessions you don't want to book or feel unsure about, he/she is not a good one.
You must ALWAYS feel that YOU are in control of your therapy, NOT them.
If you are searching for love or are disappointed in your love life, or have a low-self esteem (or simply because your therapist has chosen a certain therapeutic path), you may run the risk of 'falling in love' with your therapist.
I write this in brackets because, no matter how strongly you may disagree if you feel this right now for your own therapist, you have definitely NOT fallen in love with your therapist.
It's something else.
Be aware, please! Your feelings may be strong, but they have nothing to do with love! You have an explanation of this on: TRANSFERENCE IN THERAPY.
No matter how attentive, kind, interested, enchanted your counselor/therapist seems to you, remember: it is his/her JOB.
This is what they are trained to do.
They are WORKING.
If you feel stuck in this 'emotion', tell your therapist.
Disclose your feelings to him/her.
Sometimes it's a BRIEF part of therapy.
However, if you feel 'in love' with them for more than a VERY SHORT time, if such feelings have not faded and your therapist has not helped you 'out of them', you absolutely must seek another therapist.
Do not waste time, do not waste your money; you are not 'getting better' (even if you may feel temporarily elated - who wouldn't, elation is what you initially feel when you are attracted to someone for whatever reason).
Wise up! It's even worse, and you are at even greater risk, if your therapist appears to reciprocate those feelings.
She/he may be experiencing what experts describe as 'counter-transference' or, simply, they may have 'lost their ways' and become emotionally involved.
Again, I would recommend that, rather than getting stuck in a therapy that's going nowhere but rather making your life even more complicated, you find another therapist, even the same gender, and let him/her help you out of it.
It'll be 'quick and painless', I assure you! So, if you find yourself 'in love' (or rather, in 'trance') with your therapist for too long and the two of you can't work it out in a way that helps YOU, find another one, same gender than the previous one even, and tell him/her what happened.
If the new therapist is any good, you'll be out of that 'trance' in a very, very short time; you will feel liberated and much, much happier.
It was the best thing that happened to me and, ironically, the first step to understanding where I'd gone wrong all my life with regards to boyfriends! It was as if I'd opened a secret door.
I chose therapy as one of many avenues to learn about love, after a few 'failed' relationships.
You can read more about how to find true love on finding and keeping true love.
Being truly happy is a path we embark on, an active choice.
You can be referred by a trusted source or simply use the Internet: select a few, read their profile, their specialty, their credentials, and contact them by email.
Choose the one who replies in a way that you can relate to.
If you can see two or three before you make your decision all the better, but if not, do NOT worry.
You'll know if he or she is right for you in 3 or 4 sessions.
Before you begin therapy, you must remember that a therapist is not an infallible person, and that you may well decide, at some point, that he or she is not for you.
Do NOT feel obliged to continue therapy if you don't feel it's helping you at all.
Do not fall into that trap.
Just tell him/her that you feel you are not making any progress and find another one.
If your sessions take place once a week, you must see some results in around 3 months in whichever goal you have set yourself.
In fact, before you begin, work with your therapist on a plan so that you can both track progress.
They are usually quite happy to do this.
Do not just 'show up', cry your heart out, leave after paying him/her only to feel you were cheated out of money, or that he/she seemed to be more worried about going one minute over time than about working well WITH you.
Your therapy sessions must conclude, each time, in a way which makes you feel 'better' than before.
A good therapist does not have a magic wand but if all you feel is awful at the end of each session, well, you need to say good-bye, no matter how hard it may be.
You may have began to feel some form of attachment to him or her, but you must remember that a therapist is like a doctor to you; he/she is not your friend nor a parental figure and definitely not your potential boyfriend/girlfriend, no matter what your feelings for him or her may be.
If you don't feel gradually but consistently stronger, better, happier in YOUR OWN everyday life, say good-bye and find another one.
If your therapist or counselor seems to 'pressurize' you into booking sessions you don't want to book or feel unsure about, he/she is not a good one.
You must ALWAYS feel that YOU are in control of your therapy, NOT them.
If you are searching for love or are disappointed in your love life, or have a low-self esteem (or simply because your therapist has chosen a certain therapeutic path), you may run the risk of 'falling in love' with your therapist.
I write this in brackets because, no matter how strongly you may disagree if you feel this right now for your own therapist, you have definitely NOT fallen in love with your therapist.
It's something else.
Be aware, please! Your feelings may be strong, but they have nothing to do with love! You have an explanation of this on: TRANSFERENCE IN THERAPY.
No matter how attentive, kind, interested, enchanted your counselor/therapist seems to you, remember: it is his/her JOB.
This is what they are trained to do.
They are WORKING.
If you feel stuck in this 'emotion', tell your therapist.
Disclose your feelings to him/her.
Sometimes it's a BRIEF part of therapy.
However, if you feel 'in love' with them for more than a VERY SHORT time, if such feelings have not faded and your therapist has not helped you 'out of them', you absolutely must seek another therapist.
Do not waste time, do not waste your money; you are not 'getting better' (even if you may feel temporarily elated - who wouldn't, elation is what you initially feel when you are attracted to someone for whatever reason).
Wise up! It's even worse, and you are at even greater risk, if your therapist appears to reciprocate those feelings.
She/he may be experiencing what experts describe as 'counter-transference' or, simply, they may have 'lost their ways' and become emotionally involved.
Again, I would recommend that, rather than getting stuck in a therapy that's going nowhere but rather making your life even more complicated, you find another therapist, even the same gender, and let him/her help you out of it.
It'll be 'quick and painless', I assure you! So, if you find yourself 'in love' (or rather, in 'trance') with your therapist for too long and the two of you can't work it out in a way that helps YOU, find another one, same gender than the previous one even, and tell him/her what happened.
If the new therapist is any good, you'll be out of that 'trance' in a very, very short time; you will feel liberated and much, much happier.
It was the best thing that happened to me and, ironically, the first step to understanding where I'd gone wrong all my life with regards to boyfriends! It was as if I'd opened a secret door.
I chose therapy as one of many avenues to learn about love, after a few 'failed' relationships.
You can read more about how to find true love on finding and keeping true love.
Being truly happy is a path we embark on, an active choice.
