Maria's greatest desire was to be a teacher.
So, while she taught third graders, she attended college at night to get her teaching credential.
In order to exit the program, Maria has to pass a huge exam called the California Basic Educator's State Test.
She failed it not once, not twice but three times.
Embarrassed and feeling she was intellectually inferior to other teachers who aced it on the first try, Maria quit--she sat on the sidelines, and refused to take the test for a year and half.
During that period of time, she spent many sleepless nights envisioning losing her teaching job, her house and her dignity.
Sadly, her nightmare came closer to manifestation, when the school district delivered a letter to the school stating she had until the end of the school year to pass the exam or be fired.
It was at this point she asked me to coach her.
Feelings can be a powerful tool to either guide us, expedite our growth or paralyze us.
However, emotions are only the symptoms-a veneer often covering the more deeply entrenched roots of misbelief.
Unproductive beliefs can quickly stifle our progress towards a goal.
In Maria's case, she felt powerless to change her circumstances.
As we spoke, she vented.
The exam was a cumulative test that covered many subjects such as Ancient History, American History, Geometry, Literature, Reading Comprehension, and even P.
E.
"Rosalind, she shrieked, I've been out of high school for 30 years! I can't do this test It's crazy.
" That sense of powerlessness paralyzed her, and that sense of intellectual inferiority kindled her misbelief: "No matter what I do I can't make this credential happen.
This is the story of my life.
" Sound familiar? Whenever, thoughts of powerlessness or feelings of despair, shame, or a desire to quit rear its head as you journey towards achievement, here are a few tips: 1, Challenge What is in Your Head Just because we think a thought does not make it reality.
As I worked with Maria, we a pattern emerged.
She tended to abort projects and goals when things got tough.
Her thinking pattern tended to be a helpless one.
Nonetheless, I asked her to spend an afternoon journaling.
I asked her to write from childhood on about ANY success, big or small she was proud of.
As she did it, she connected to a few challenges she overcame through grit, and hard work.
This built her self esteem, and challenged her erroneous belief: "I am not smart enough to overcome an obstacle.
" 2.
Get Moving Whatever we focus on we become.
Basting in feelings of shame, despair and tolerating the paralysis that came with it for a year and a half, was being anchored in her character.
Also, these emotions were affecting her health--she often complained of panic attacks, sleepless nights, knots in her neck and shoulders, and tormenting obsessions.
As I interviewed Maria, it became apparent that she was an extravert, and needed to study with others in order to feel less isolated, and to expedite learning.
So, I asked her to look around her school for other teachers who hadn't passed the exam, and form a study group.
She did.
Four other teachers joined her at her house once a week for a study session.
She soon learned she had contributions to make to the group.
She was good at Literature.
Maria was tutored by another teacher in math.
But just as important, Maria's mood brightened because of this simple strategy.
She shared, "You know Roz, sometimes I actually have fun, laughing with the teachers!" On Maria's fourth attempt at the exam, she aced it.