Will You Accept Responsibility for the Broken Relationship?
If you are asked whether you will accept responsibility for a broken relationship, will you answer yes? Not likely.
If you are like most people, you will give a qualified answer that you would accept responsibility only if the relationship break up happened due to your fault.
But since people in general will not accept their faults, it will turn out that you will not accept responsibility for a marriage break up in any case! This is the crux of the problem always haunting relationships.
All relationships will be beset with problems sometime or other.
You will sense the problem all right but will not do anything about resolving it because you will believe that the fault lies with your partner.
Just imagine what will happen to a relationship if both the partners firmly believe that the other partner is to blame for the problems that have developed in the relationship.
The relationship is bound to go down a step downward path giving you no chance to put it back into position at a later stage even if you wish to.
Now imagine another scenario.
There are problems in a relationship and both the partners feel that they should take the responsibility to restore the relationship.
Now what will happen? Each will meet the other more than half the way, resulting in the gap that developed getting completely covered and both becoming even closer than they were before because each has moved more than half the way.
Between these two extreme scenarios lie many relationships infected by problems.
Each of you want to save the relationship.
Each of you are willing to do something to put the relationship back on the rails.
But no one takes the initiative because each feels that the other partner is responsible for the problem and hence the other has to take the initiative.
What is needed is one person accepting responsibility for the problem and taking the initiative to resolve it.
Taking responsibility does not mean that you are accepting that you are the one at fault.
It simply means that you have the maturity to set aside your ego and do what is needed to save the relationship.
When you take the responsibility you become the leader.
If there is a fire, someone should act quickly to put down the fire.
If one begins to act, the other will join in the effort.
Pondering over the question who caused the fire will only result in the fire spreading and engulfing both of you and ultimately consuming both of you as well.
The same logic applies for relationship also.
If you are like most people, you will give a qualified answer that you would accept responsibility only if the relationship break up happened due to your fault.
But since people in general will not accept their faults, it will turn out that you will not accept responsibility for a marriage break up in any case! This is the crux of the problem always haunting relationships.
All relationships will be beset with problems sometime or other.
You will sense the problem all right but will not do anything about resolving it because you will believe that the fault lies with your partner.
Just imagine what will happen to a relationship if both the partners firmly believe that the other partner is to blame for the problems that have developed in the relationship.
The relationship is bound to go down a step downward path giving you no chance to put it back into position at a later stage even if you wish to.
Now imagine another scenario.
There are problems in a relationship and both the partners feel that they should take the responsibility to restore the relationship.
Now what will happen? Each will meet the other more than half the way, resulting in the gap that developed getting completely covered and both becoming even closer than they were before because each has moved more than half the way.
Between these two extreme scenarios lie many relationships infected by problems.
Each of you want to save the relationship.
Each of you are willing to do something to put the relationship back on the rails.
But no one takes the initiative because each feels that the other partner is responsible for the problem and hence the other has to take the initiative.
What is needed is one person accepting responsibility for the problem and taking the initiative to resolve it.
Taking responsibility does not mean that you are accepting that you are the one at fault.
It simply means that you have the maturity to set aside your ego and do what is needed to save the relationship.
When you take the responsibility you become the leader.
If there is a fire, someone should act quickly to put down the fire.
If one begins to act, the other will join in the effort.
Pondering over the question who caused the fire will only result in the fire spreading and engulfing both of you and ultimately consuming both of you as well.
The same logic applies for relationship also.
